By best selling paranormal author Joni Mayhan
After the recent deaths of Paranormal EVP specialists Mark and Debby Constantino, the paranormal world was in an uproar after a well-known paranormal enthusiast claimed to have made contact with the recently deceased paranormal celebrities. Many felt it was too soon.
Paranormal investigator and empathic medium Tammy Rosenfeld agreed, stating the following, “They weren’t even laid to rest yet and people were attempting to contact them. They had no respect for their families. Let the families mourn and grieve. Their deaths were tragic, unexpected and violent. If this was my family member and some stranger was trying to contact them, I would have been pissed.” Her thoughts were echoed by countless others in the field.
(Above: Mark and Debby Constantino)
How soon is too soon?
According to psychic medium Barbara Williams, it depends on the spirit. “I have contacted spirits as soon as a week, but the conversations haven’t been lengthy since they do not have much energy for a while. It takes at least a few months to a year for them to build up enough energy for a lengthy visit.”
While the soul is eternal, this doesn’t mean the recently deceased are willing or even capable of communication, especially if their deaths were difficult or unexpected. It often takes them time to come to terms with what has happened to them. When they’re ready, they will reach out to those they wish to communicate with. “They would contact loved ones first, not people they don’t know,” Williams added.
According to many spiritualists, when a person dies their soul travels through the white light to another dimension that some people call Heaven. There, they meet with their spirit guides and experience a life review. While they eventually return to visit loved ones, it often takes time.
If the death was sudden or traumatic, it might take them even longer to return. According to psychic medium Ray Richard, “They don’t immediately go to where everyone else goes. Their souls go to a place where they can heal first.” This is especially true for people who took their own lives. They need enough time to mend before they can move on.
Another factor that Barbara Williams presented should be taken with some considerable relevance. “How do you know who you have?” she asked. As we know, ghosts often pretend to be someone they aren’t to gain trust. You might be talking to a darker entity instead of the one you thought you were speaking with. Williams recommends that you ask for validation. Ask them a question that they are the only ones who know the answer.
Sites of traumatic events are also often considered taboo for investigators. Imagine the reaction if a paranormal team showed up at the site of a school bus accident where children lost their lives. If they weren’t outright beat to a pulp by bystanders, they’d certainly be chastised, yet it happens every day. Investigators break into cemeteries during the night and tromp over the graves with little respect for the inhabitants, and they do the same thing with historical sites that saw tremendous bloodshed.
Being respectful of the dead was a huge part of our culture and our history, something that seems to be missing now. In the Victorian era, widows would have worn black for two years after losing a spouse and would have refrained from social events. Mere decades ago, it was customary to leave coins on the stones of veteran soldiers as you paid your respects to signify how you knew them. A penny was left as a sign that you visited. A nickel was left if you were at boot camp with the soldier. A dime signified that you served together, while a quarter meant that you were there when the soldier died. You see this less and less in cemeteries these days.
(Above: Victorian era funeral)
Has the onslaught of paranormal shows and movies minimized the lives of the dead? Have we stopped seeing them as people who have loved ones still mourning their losses and simply view them as opportunities for fame? Tammy Rosenfeld echoes this sentiment. “There is no integrity in the field anymore. Everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame.”
Another example of the direction the paranormal field is heading is the recent live broadcast of an exorcism. I’m sure for some of the people involved, it was a way to show the public exactly how much effort goes into this process, but for others it was for publicity and profit. Should such practices be trotted out and propped up for public viewing? Many people in the paranormal field felt it shouldn’t have been.
One medium, who asked to remain anonymous said this. “Doing an exorcism in a public venue is not only defying the sacred rites, it also puts others at danger. What happens if they couldn’t bind and banish it? What if it just jumped to another person?”
According to psychic medium Ray Richard, just watching shows like this puts people at home in danger. “You open yourself up to the energy, whether it’s the energy from the location at the show or something lurking around nearby.” While some feel it’s ludicrous to believe that an entity could jump through the television set, others aren’t as quick to dismiss the possibility. “This energy has no boundaries. Once you connect with it, they are aware of you,” said another medium.
Others are quick to ridicule other people in the field. In recent years, many paranormal teams have spent more time bashing other paranormal teams than they have attempted to learn more about this field. It’s a shame too. There is so much we don’t know. If we banded together, we would have a better chance of pooling our resources. Unfortunately, for many, it’s not about unraveling the unknown mysteries, it’s about seeing your face on TV.
“It’s all about having matching black shirts and expensive gear,” said one investigator.
A part of me would like to think that there are still ethical investigators out there who practice respect, but we see less and less of this as the years pass. In some ways, this new trend of virtual grave robbing might mark the beginning of the end. When society has had enough, they will stop watching the paranormal shows, which will put an end to the madness. Then, serious paranormal investigators like Tammy Rosenfeld and myself can go back to the basics without so much disruption.
Joni Mayhan is a paranormal investigator and the author of 13 paranormal books. To learn more about her, check out her website Jonimayhan.com.
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