by David Johnson
It can be hard to tell when a child goes from being merely troubled to completely cracked. But there are a few warning signs along the way that should never be ignored. A troubled child draws pictures that evoke sadness, loneliness, and frustration. A child is on his way to being certifiable when he draws the following:
This one was drawn as a message from a child to his babysitter. As if the drawing wasn’t clear enough, the following helpful text was provided:
Get out of my life.
The disembodied head, axe, and headless stick figure makes the meaning clear enough even without the message. Parents finding this drawing should immediately make an appointment with a therapist, and find a new babysitter. Clearly, the current on isn’t working out.
I can’t say exactly what it is about leprechauns that makes this kid nuts. Maybe it’s that fake Irish accent. Perhaps it’s the hat. It could be that short people got nobody to love them. As the song says:
They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick ’em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin’ peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They’re gonna get you every time
Whatever their offense, this kid has given fair warning with this depiction of a leprechaun being dispatched to the next life. There is also the added note reading:
If I caught a Leprechaun, I would kill him.
Leprechauns, consider yourselves warned.
This photo is not as much creepy as it is… well… Okay, it’s creepy. This child’s mother is depicted as a pole-dancing stripper, with men handing her money from all sides. The words, I want to be like mommy make up the caption. While this child is not disturbed in the traditional sense, there is a good chance her name is Candi. If your child draws this picture, you should rethink your career options.
No one should be too hard on kids who have yet to master the art of spelling. But some spelling errors leave you creeped out, like this one. Captioning a brilliant drawing of a beloved fictional character, the young artist has him saying:
I am Buzz Lightyear. I cum in pies!
I hope mom wasn’t choking down a slice of lemon meringue at the time.
Cutest Little Devil
This cutie in a Santa hat made a drawing of a happy little stick figure. There is nothing ominous about it. What raises one’s hackles is the even more prominent text filling the page. It says, I lOVE SATAN. As I take a second look at the little girl holding the sign, I can imagine her eyes turning red, and her head spinning all the way around. One of us has seen too many scary movies.
Did you know that atheists will burn in hell and be eternally tormented by demons? The kid who drew this one certainly did. Not only that, but he knew his teacher was an atheist, and thus destined to experience this fate. I can’t tell if the child is sad about his teacher’s eventual stay in hell, or excited by it. Either way, Christian education has gone amuck when this is the artistic product.
Don’t know the story behind this one, and I’m not sure I want to.
Pay attention to your child’s little art projects. They are all very cute, until they’re not.